people

for the most part, all the people i encounter are decent.  they are either friendly, give off a good vibe and become a potential friend, or they mind their own business and stay a stranger.

what happens when someone you've known since you were born, perhaps even since before you were born, becomes someone you want nothing to do with?

this keeps me awake at night.

a kindred spirit

last week i found a posting on craig's list for an artist's assistant for a sculptor.  i sent him my resume and cover letter.  he said he was holding out for someone with more of a sculpture focus.  

oh well.

look at his stuff.  it's niicce.

www.derickmelander.com  

dubya dubya dubya

out of the corner of my eye two days ago, i noticed a postcard given to me by arley rose a few months ago at elizabeth's film screening in tribeca.  it is on the fridge at my house. 

she lives in providence and lives at the 'dirt palace.'

a feminist artists' collective.

www.dirtpalace.org

they work, play, create and improve together.  supporting each other.

LOOK AT IT. now!

love of knowledge

phi : los : o :phy 

a system of values by which one lives.

people should take care of each other, no matter what.

  

kindness 

politeness 

generosity 

understanding

compassion

affability

these are some of the staples of life.

  

a full internal conflict

i want to spend my life learning and helping people.  i'm drawn to teaching.  but i'm having a major dilemma as to where and in what capacity i should teach. public/private, classroom teacher/visiting artist, museum educator???

so many choices.  could i spend grad school money better somewhere?

and what about my art making...

and also there's this force pulling me to live in a rural area. live on the land! grow my own food.  farm farm farm. wake up at dawn, in bed at 9.  could that even work?

at home today in oklahoma on OETA (the local PBS channel) i heard a line from the "oklahome theme song -  "you know we belong to the land..." it struck a chord.

right NOW

i'm in transition. in a way or rather in many ways.  been back in new york since last july. already found my way to many inspiring people in the art education world. already found a nanny job and quit.  already taken a class at cuny and been disappointed. already found a seemingly wonderful grad school (www.bankstreet.edu), whose application i need to get started on. 

the point is - in eight months  - i'm a very different person.  i must make art, not to survive or sustain, but to live, to feel joy, to notice. 

!movement, travel, growth, expansion!